Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
