Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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