You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Can you bring me the toilet please
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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