You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Randomize