It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
