what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
