you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
