I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
