My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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