remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
