Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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