This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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