Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
