I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
