will power is for people who don't want to get laid
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
