I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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