For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
