It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
