By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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