Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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