smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I could fuck to npr.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
