I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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