This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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