Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
