Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
