She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
