I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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