i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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