someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
