I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Randomize
