You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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