My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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