K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
