Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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