Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
