I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize