So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
