So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
