I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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