I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
