my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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