dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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