I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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