I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So vagazzling was a success
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
True college students do jello shots in the library
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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