I haven't been this sober since birth.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
