Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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