I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
