I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
