it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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