What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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