Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
