i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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