No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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