Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
They took my balls.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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