One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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