there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
