I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
In other news, I just burned my penis
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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