I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
