Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize