i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
