so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
