I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
