He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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