Your face is a jimmy john
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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