I need help removing her.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize